It’s been awhile since I have seriously taken a plunge into the pool of online dating. Today I realized it has been 9 months since my last blog entry. (Wow- that sounded like the beginning of a confession). Life had gotten busy. Work, finishing my second novel, and my side business had taken over the majority of my free time, and it just never seemed like the right opportunity to “go for a swim.” As a young girl you couldn’t get me out of the water. My family had a property with a creek in the backyard. During the two months a year it was warm enough in Canada to swim, I was out in the water- “accidently tipping over the canoe”, jumping off the tire swing, and splashing my friends. Hours would pass. My hands would shrivel up like prunes or my mom would call me inside, and reluctantly I would return to dry land.
After further thought, I feel more like I am considering leaping into the “creek” of cyber love again. A pool is often crystal clear and the water is pristine. Creeks are dark and murky. You can’t see the bottom, and sometimes your feet touch something slimy.
Anyone who has done a stint with online dating knows that it can be unpredictable with nail biting suspense. There is no safety that comes along from having mutual friends, or even a work acquaintance that can vouch that your potential suitor has not done jail time. That moment of waiting to see if the person looks the same as their picture or if you have been “catfished” (This is a fairly new term describing someone who has completely misrepresented themselves online) is stressful. Side note: Fortunately, despite all the dates I have been on, this has only happened to me a few times.
At a pool you often have a lifeguard, but at a creek only your good friends may be around to make sure that you get pulled onto shore if you need help. A few of my treasured comrads have had the pleasure of saving my sanity after either some horrifically bad online date, or when a relationship that develops from one dissolves. They suffer through the “Are there any good guys left?” tirades that ensue.
So am I ready to take the plunge? A lot of local men have written me, and sometimes I entertain the thought of going for coffee or dinner with one of them. Of course, this is after eliminating some of the men who have addressed me with these types of greetings:
Can you meet me tonight at 11? (first contact email)
I now I am not good enuff for you but…
And my favorite…..
Can I bite your ear? (I am serious)
These are the tamer rated “G” greetings that I don’t mind my mother seeing. Those other offenders I immediately block from contacting me. Those are the water snakes slithering through the weeds in the creek.
Then I have to further eliminate the really attractive guys who have never heard of Happy Days, Gilligan’s Island, or can’t name me at least 10 great 80’s bands. That is because many of these boys were not born yet. Too bad I can’t go swimming with them! They probably look fantastic when they take their shirts off.
Before Christmas I went out with one man who seemed very safe, and was practically wearing a life jacket, but there was no physical chemistry or personality connection. It was like I dipped my big toe into the chilly water, and then retreated quickly.
I live in the desert, and it is starting to heat up a little. Now that all the holidays have flown by, and the hot spring and summer months are quickly approaching, it may be time to dive into the creek. Or belly flop. Maybe instead of a man wearing yellow pants, (see previous blog entry), I can find one in a suitable pair of trunks that can grab my hand and plunge into the cold water with me.