Awhile back I had written a blog entry inquiring if in the world of online dating, romance was dead. Since that time, I have come to another revelation……Lately it seems that the type of men who contact me are, what I like to call, “The Quick Committers, or the QCs.” My last few boyfriends told me within the first couple of dates that they wanted to be exclusive, and also declared their love for me by week three. I am the type of girl that a guy usually wants a serious relationship with, and not to date casually. Although that can be a great in theory, it often leads to the “QC” factor.
Some men with whom I have gone out for coffee, and have shared a decent conversation, seemed to decide on the spot that I was their soul mate. Apparently I have a bit of a knack for making men feel comfortable and relaxed. This turns out to translate for some of them that I could be “the One”. Occasionally I even get this vibe from men with whom I have only ever spoke to on the phone, and have not even met in person yet. In their texts they call me ‘honey’, ‘sweetie’, or my favorite, ‘gorgeous’. What is that I see waving in the breeze over there? A red flag? This premature adoration makes me feel uncomfortable. When put on a pedestal, the only place to fall is down. Why are they wearing their hearts on their sleeves? Maybe if I had felt that immediate connection to them as well, this would be a whole different type of blog entry! Although flattering, my first inclination is to make a break for it. One friend’s nickname for me is “The Runaway Bride”.
This type of quick commitment scenario reminds me of the trip I made to a new gym yesterday. I had printed out a free 7 day trial pass, hoping that I could check out the machines, classes, and general atmosphere before signing on the dotted line and obligating myself to their terms and conditions. You know, take my time getting to know the facility. Slowly exploring the different characteristics of this gym to see if it was right for me, and make sure we would be compatible, seemed smart. Did it feel natural? Did it feel right? I knew that if I went to this gym I would need to forsake all others, which made this a big decision. After all, we were going to be spending a lot of time together.
When I got there and showed the nice lady in her staff shirt my coupon, she gushed that this gym would be perfect for me. She just ‘knew it’. She even asked me what my fitness goals and dreams were, and made lots of grandiose promises that I knew were premature and based only on the very superficial first impression that I had made. Immediately she declared that if I was willing to commit that same day, she could make me very happy with a great deal, waiving the sign up fee. Hesitation would cost me dearly. The open office we were sitting at was starting to feel like a table at Starbucks, where once again, I was being persuaded and coaxed into making a premature decision. To just dive into a relationship.
What did I end up doing? Maybe you want me to say that I stood my ground, stuck to my guns, and insisted that I spend the week experiencing the gym before making a final decision. Instead I signed on the dotted line, and committed for a year. That is longer than several of my last relationships have survived. What gives me comfort is that the cost of “breaking up” with my gym is just $75 dollars, and the only hurt party will be my wallet. Maybe I am open to commitment under the right circumstances, after all. Maybe my perfect “CT” (Cute guy with Timing- I know, that was corny) will find me, and even spot me at my new gym.